Wednesday, August 26, 2009

how movies can make you popular

when i teach debate camps, i always begin with a session entitled 'how to think.' in this session, i ask about what makes a good movie. i usually get answers like "good plot" and "lots of action".

almost never do i hear what actually makes movies great: characters.

if you really think about it, though, no one really cares about plot when they watch movies. people like to think that they want action, but really all they want is for something terrible followed by something great to happen to someone they can relate to.

here are some elements of good fictional characters:
1. fatal flaw - all good characters must have them. maybe they smoke compulsively (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind) or are slightly/majorly OCD (Monk) or even have a drug addiction (House). the fatal flaw makes them attractive and human.

here's the funny thing about fatal flaws; even if we don't have them, we create them because we think that they make us different. we pretend {even subconsciously} to be annoyed by disorder, and we emphasize our injuries {because being that guy who hurt himself in the football game is better than just being that guy}.

i'm not sure there is anything wrong with this tendency, but it tells us more about why we like the ugly, fat girl in the movie who turns out to be nice on the inside, instead of the popular cheerleader who lacks witty banter and clever catchphrases. in the end, all of us would rather be the fat girl with the makeover than the cheerleader.

2. the loser/winner dichotomy - much like the fatal flaw, great characters must be very bad at something. it doesn't really matter what, as long as it is noticeable and incurs mockery from their peer group. the important thing is that they have a hidden talent of some sort. drawing, painting, rock climbing; again, it doesn't matter what. in the end, this character will be called upon in a highly unlikely circumstance, and will demonstrate their talent, to the awe of their peers.

there is a common cliche which says that in order to succeed, we must fail. this is what the loser/winner dichotomy comes down to. if you are good at everything, people secretly resent you. if you are terrible at everything {and have no sharp wit to make light of your shortcomings} people will avoid you. this is why the best characters balance their failings with a hidden talent.

3. past hardship - you may be noticing a trend; the things that shape good characters are really not good at all. similarly, past hardships are the keystone to a great character. hardship is the get-out-of-jail-free card for the violently inclined. Bruce Wayne's vigilante justice is understandable, even commendable, because it is birthed from righteous vengeance. the protagonist of any chick flick worth its salt has lost a mother, been teased mercilessly or abandoned at birth. we are even willing to excuse criminal behavior like money laundering (Catch Me If You Can) because of characters we have developed past-based sympathy for.

it is impossible to escape the fact that our past shapes the people that we become. for a character to be successful, their shortcomings and strengths must be grounded in something beyond themselves.

-----

so these are some things that make characters great. but maybe you don't believe that characters are the only element necessary for a good story {movie or otherwise}. let me prove it to you.

1. if a character does not grow, it is impossible for them to be the protagonist. hence the success of 'coming-of-age' stories where a previously unrealized character unleashes their inner potential. without a protagonist, a movie cannot succeed.

2. in a movie, we permit the suspension of reality, in order to observe character growth. almost all movies operate on a series of highly unlikely premises and events completely severed from reality. as an audience, we accept the new reality presented by the movie, not merely for its own sake, but because we realize that people are ultimately the same, regardless of setting and plot in which they find themselves.

3. we instinctively seek ourselves in movies. this is where facebook comes in handy. countless times a day, stories in my newsfeed inform me about which movie or tv show character you think you are. are you Pam from the office? are you fun loving Jim? which chick flick character are you?

these quizzes are not evaluated based on similar settings and plot structures, but target personality {character} similarities between you and characters in your favorite tv show.

4. characters are the reason we accept cliches. how many football movies have you seen, featuring an underdog team that ultimately beats out the bigger, more experienced players? why do we keep seeing them? because we accept that despite the identical and predictable plot structure, everyone loves a good underdog story.

in the end, a good movie is defined by its characters. which makes things interesting in the real world. after all, if we like characters in movies, it follows that we would like people who possess the qualities of a great character in the real world. this is why Bill Clinton was elected {and remained} president, and why people read tabloid magazines. without flaws, celebrities would be really rich people who lived in mansions. without a special talent, losers would stay losers and criminals would stay criminals.

so if you want to be popular, become the ideal character i described above; identify your weaknesses and strengths, and emphasize them. you may be unhappy and fake, but people will like you more, and probably remember you after you die.

Friday, August 21, 2009

a polite suggestion

I used to think that I loved jazz for the same reason Donald Miller named his book after it; because it doesn't resolve.

But I think that isn't true at all, or at least not entirely true. Last night I really listened to classical music {because someone I knew was playing, annnnd he was amazing. sidenote.} and I started to understand why different people relate to different styles of music.

Classical music is like an inspirational underdog movie. It's melodramatic, fits a structured pattern and engages the mind. It's the Slumdog Millionaire of music; emotional, but conclusive. The experience is cathartic and demands mental action.

Jazz is not inspirational because it makes us think about something, or even feel something. Jazz does not come from the head or even the heart. It does not demand action or logic, but the gut or the soul. Aristotle describes the constitution of the polis as a positive direction which the members of the community choose to engage in; the soul of the community. Jazz reminds me of a constitution like that. It's a suggested direction, rather than a british accent on a GPS.

Some people like melodrama. Some people like suggestions.

Then again, maybe the altitude is making me lightheaded. I probably just like jazz because it has a saxophone.

Friday, July 31, 2009

this sort of talk makes me sick

Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive, as we had during the war. And then to mention the subject at all is to be greeted with howls of anger. It is not that people think this too high and difficult a virtue: it is that they think it hateful and contemptible. “That sort of talk makes them sick,” they say. And half of you already want to ask me, “I wonder how’d you feel about forgiving the Gestapo if you were a Pole or a Jew?”

So do I. I wonder very much. Just as when Christianity tells me that I must not deny my religion even to save myself from death by torture, 1 wonder very much what 1 should do when it came to the point. I am not trying to tell you … what I could do–I can do precious little–I am telling you what Christianity is. I did not invent it. And there, right in the middle of it, I find “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sill against us.” There is no slightest suggestion that we are offered forgiveness on any other terms. It is made perfectly clear that if we do not forgive we shall not be forgiven. There are no two ways about it. What are we to do?

-Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis

When I read this the first time, I felt warm and tingly and judgmental. The second time I read it, I felt terrible. The third time I read it, I made a mental list of all of the people in my life that I haven't forgiven.

Now I don't feel judgmental at all. I think maybe some of us struggle to forgive people like the Gestapo and the terrorists and maybe the Jews, but I think maybe lots more of us struggle to forgive the people closest to us who have hurt us the most, and maybe even ourselves.

Just something to think about.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Eugenics...what's the big deal anyways?

Last week, at the NCFCA National Tournament, I learned a lot.

I learned from two consecutive speakers in Persuasive that parents should have the liberty to raise their children as they see fit, providing that they do not harm the child in the process, and that homeschoolers are upset that the government is essentially legislating morality by forcing themselves into the role of the parent. As it turns out, in the realm of parenting the government is not well equipped to solve matters of personal liberty. Huh.

I also learned that eugenics is a big problem. Apparently, there are some wicked people out there who arbitrarily kill babies because they don't meet our arbitrary standards of perfection and beauty. I mean, I don't get it...we can sometimes kill children, or even adults who don't meet those same standards, but killing babies is suddenly this raging epidemic that is going to conquer all that is good and holy in society? What's the big deal with killing innocent people? It's not like their quality of life was going to be that great anyways if we let them live, and we wouldn't want to have to spend our hard earned money {aka, tax dollars, if you're Barack Obama} to support people who are bound to be screw ups anyways. Better to just end their life, because redemption is too expensive, and the right to life doesn't mean a lot if we aren't rich & attractive, anyways. Patrick Henry, ftw!

Speaking of Patrick Henry, it turns out that America has become evil again. This is something else I learned at the mercy of homeschoolers, last week. This may surprise you, but America has walked away from God, and is evidently ignoring the ongoing alter call. I'm so glad that I now know that a nation can actually fall away, and be saved again--there is hope for John Piper after all! I was a little confused as to why we were supposed to be praying for America (like the White House? the Washington Monument? I'm still not entirely sure I understand what "America" is other than a collection of some people, a few of which used to wear funny hats and grow corn with the Indians) until I found out that America was God's favorite place to hang out, excepting Israel. I'm glad I don't have to worry about the rest of the world, because honestly that was a bit of a drag.

It's amazing how much you can learn in a few very long days.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years'

I am sure this book is going to be fantastic. Donald Miller always is. But when I read the pre-released chapter {both the version that is in the new release of BLJ and the copy on his website}, I realized that I will be forced to reconsider everything again. Some particularly thoughful excerpts:

"If you ask me, the people who get the most out of life are the ones who don’t ask questions. I wish I was this kind of person. I was at Crème the other morning and heard a girl tell another girl about her previous night’s date and I kept wondering how she could go on about her date without knowing what love is for and what it means. I kept wondering how she could be excited about something when there was no philosophical map that would tell her where she was going and whether or not arriving there would give her a sense of closure and fulfillment. And there is a man who delivers library books to the library downstairs and the other day when he was carrying cartons of books into the library I wondered if he ever got tempted to drive the truck off the Sellwood bridge because he knew it was filled with a million ideas that contradicted each other. There are times when I think an act like that might be righteous. But I don’t know why."

---

Robert McKee put his coffee cup down and leaned onto the podium. He put his hand on his forehead and wiped his grey hair back. He said you have to go there, you know. You have to take your character to the place where they just can’t take it anymore. He looked at us with a tenderness we hadn’t seen in him before. You’ve been there, haven’t you? You’ve been out on the ledge. The marriage is over now, the dream is over now, nothing good can come from this. He got louder. Writing a story isn’t about making your peaceful fantasies come true. The whole point of the story is the character arc. You didn’t think joy could change a person, did you? Joy is what you feel when the conflict is over. But it’s conflict that changes a person. He was shouting now. You put your characters through hell. You put them through hell. That’s the only way we change.


I am going to think about this now, and come up with something witty and brilliant to say about it tomorrow.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Off the Road

I fell in love again
all things go, all things go
drove to Chicago
all things know, all things know
we sold our clothes to the state
I don't mind, I don't mind
I made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind

if I was crying
in the van, with my friend
it was for freedom
from myself and from the land
I made a lot of mistakes


I think every kid sometimes wants to get in the car and drive, not anywhere in particular, just away. I have been thinking a lot recently about how things were back in the 50's and 60's, where people just picked up and hitchhiked across the country. I don't trust people who have never wanted to do that, because I think we are born with a desire to travel and learn and experience.

In a world where media brings London and Hong Kong to our living rooms, it seems like maybe we would be content on the couch with pizza and a remote control. But I think instead, I just want to go more. If fairytales happen in movies {and they always do} then I might be a closet heroine, just waiting for the perfect setting to realize how cool and interesting I actually am.

Sometimes I play out scenes in my head before they happen, like I am actually in a movie. Actually, to be honest, I do this a lot. I imagine the things I will say, and how people will respond, and what will happen. This is why I am rarely surprised or phased by anything. I have played out almost every potential outcome already and planned my response to it.

So maybe this is why I feel the need to do crazy things like drive {or walk?} across the country. Because maybe then things would surprise me. I guess the point I am trying to make is that people are the same everywhere, and no matter how far you run, they will be annoying and shallow or fascinating and individual. Not that you shouldn't maybe try, because maybe you are easily surprised and things like that will be good for you.

But branching out is pointless unless your roots are sound. And if you go without sound roots, you will end up like Sufjan Stevens says; in a van somewhere, crying for freedom from the land and from yourself.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Hollow of Darkness

Every time someone mentions TS Eliot I get this burning desire to read this poem. I picked up a complete collection of Eliot plays and poem and read almost all of the poems following our history class today which made reference to Eliot, and I can't help sharing.

The reason I love The Hollow Men is that it recalls the themes from one of my favorite books, Heart of Darkness. Kurtz, mentioned in the second epigraph, is, in my very humble opinion, the best representation of darkness in all symbolic literature. Kurtz is a "Paper mache Mephistopheles" (best description of any character ever. just sayin.), a hollow man. C.S. Lewis describes such men as "Men Without Chests" (sort of. there is nuance between the arguments, but they are fundamentally the same.)

Don't get impatient and stop reading halfway through--the end is the most dramatic line of doom and it will send shivers down your spine and haunt you for at least a few days.

Mistah Kurtz—he dead.

A penny for the Old Guy

I

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

II

Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death’s dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind’s singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.

Let me be no nearer
In death’s dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat’s coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer—

Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom

III

This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man’s hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.

Is it like this
In death’s other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.

IV

The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death’s twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

V

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o’clock in the morning.


Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

put that in your pipe and chew it

Pastor David spoke on this passage today, and I was overwhelmed by the incredible-ness. I must say that Romans 12 is in the running with the Sermon on the Mount for my all-time favorite part of the bible. I just had to share; hope you enjoy it at much as I did.

Romans 12

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

(also...coming soon...an *original* blog post. not that this isn't totally better.)

Friday, March 13, 2009

Writer's Cramp

There is nothing more frustrating than lacking inspiration for pent up creative genius. History and English papers have reduced my writing abilities to faltering metaphors like: "the room was as dark as America during Jacksonian nationalism" and "his words made as little sense as Bacon's obsession with chickens."

So much for my plans of being a starving, talented artist on the streets of Portland. Thank you, fate, for foiling my elaborate plans once again.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Constitution Barbeques

In history class today, we learned about abolitionists in the US before and during the civil war. Abolitionists do not sound like the kind of people with whome you would want to spend a relaxing afternoon. On the 4th of July, they would burn the Constitution and talk about how evil America was. I think they probably barbequed meat too.

America was pretty evil then, incidentally. Even those who opposed "the South", pretty much still hated black people, and many of them were not against slavery so much as they just wanted to keep the problem in the South and change the laws that let southern police come up north to take black people. The South wasn't a whole lot better, obviously. Aside from the fundamentally wicked institution of slavery, they called for a federal police force, proving that they weren't really so much in favor of states rights after all.

So the abolitionists had a point. But they weren't very popular, and I imagine them all looking a little like Ron Paul. If there were abolitionists today, I'm not sure we'd like them as much as we like Ioan Gruffudd in Amazing Grace; they would be the kind of people like Ralph Nader that everyone makes jokes about, but nobody puts signs in their yard for. Conservatives would mock them and liberals would probably ignore them. They would sound kind of like Tom Stockman in Enemy of the People, though maybe less articulate and more passionate. If there were abolitionists today, they would not be polite or politically correct.

Abolitionists were probably not nice people.

In retrospect, it is easy to side with abolitionists, because we mostly think slavery was wicked and that it is good that people like Lincoln faught wars to make it stop, and make the US into "we the people" (thank you, Nicholas Cage, for that little tidbit). It was abolitionists and not racists like Lincoln who probably did the most to actually lobby for equality in the long run, but it's hard to image ourselves in their places. Saying that black people should be equal to white people was like saying that money is wicked, and that making a profit should be outlawed. There would be lots of people who kind of sympathized with you, but ulimately liked making money and used profit to feed their families. There would be even more people who thought you were insane, and probably some that thought you were a Marxist. It may even be like declaring yourself as a Russian during the Red Scare. Lots of people would say you were un-Patriotic (given your 4th of July rituals, they may have a point), and Joe McCarthy would put you in jail.

Wearing peace signs and shopping at Urban Outfitters is cool, but being an abolitionist is not cool at all. Being an abolitionist means that you are wildly unpopular, disliked and if you walk down the street, some people might spit on you, or crucify you, or write nasty articles about you in the Collegian. Being an abolitionist means that you care more about your cause than anything else in the world; even more than you care about money or fame or your own life.

People like Jesus and Ghandi and Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr are abolitionists.

I would like to be abolitionist.

However, due to the environmental ramifications, I do not suggest, or plan on, burning the Constitution.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Culture Heroes?

Everyone should read this article:
http://whoviating.blogspot.com/2008/06/heroics.html

{thank you, Matt, for sharing}

Let me add to this otherwise brilliant argument that hero worship of soldiers is completely understandable. Americans have been effectively brainwashed since the cold war to embrace this "Us vs. Them" mindset which legitimizes the black marks on our historical record. If Joe McCarthy wasn't enough, phrases like "if you can't stand behind our soldiers, stand in front of them" {sorry, David, did I steal your witty little comeback? =P} --one of the most illogical positions I have heard in my life {think about it: if you disagree with what soldiers do...do it FOR them!}--and the conservative response to the 60's/70's/80's have finished the job.

My point {and I'm sure the author of the article's point} is not to bash soldiers, but to question America's worship of death. The cultural "myths" and icons that we worship epitomize the things our culture treasures and values. What does it say about America when one is unpatriotic for resisting evil with good? Or when our greatest heroes are instruments of death? Or when concern for others has been shrouded by unapologetic national interest?

You can call me names all day, but in the end these are the kinds of questions that keep you up at night and force you to question your most precious beliefs.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Constitutionally Speaking

Today, I was sitting in the student union, reading and meticulously transcribing the Constitution onto note cards (non-kinesthetic learners, I do not expect you to understand), compliments of Dr. Birzer's infamous constitution quiz, which really wasn't that hard*, if you're curious. Anyway, there I sat, calmly focusing my energy on remembering to care about something I actually care very little about, and a group of neighboring students began casually chatting with each other. I tried to ignore them, really I did, but soon their increasing volume and my fascination with the Constitution combined to draw my interest. I wish I could relay their conversation with more detail, but it was all about guns and really, I know next to nothing about guns ("ak-47...bad?"). 30 minutes later, the gun talk started to grate on my nerves until one of the kids (and I honestly don't know what his name is, I'm not trying to be secretive) made reference to someone who I assume, though who knows why, was a friend of his. Gun Kid 2 chuckled when GK1 mentioned his friend and queried, "does he have any living relatives?" "Sure, plenty of them," responded GK1. "Damn," said GK2 (his word not mine. I'm not going to hell yet, Adam). "He is pretty well off," sighed GK1 sympathetically. "Oh, it's not his money I whant**." I sighed a little too, relieved that I would not have to walk over and punch GK2 in the face. He was pretty big. "It's his guns."

Sigh officially taken back.
I felt an interesting combination of nausea and tidal-wave-esque anger swirl through my stomache.

Even now, hours later, I can barely even articulate how wicked and disgusting and sickening this is. Oh but wait; you don't buy my gunslinging conservative stereotype? I don't blame you. When they finally moved past guns, GK2 very originally pointed out that the stimulus package was going to...do some things Adam would not approve of me saying...to America. Oh, oh! They even called Obama names. If the sickness already brewing in my stomache hadn't knocked me over, the originality definitely would have.

Then they went back to guns.

This is the part where I assure you all that I am not actually a crazy liberal, but remain a crazy libertarian. The truth is that I support gun rights and think the stimulus package is dumb. But honestly? I am sick of gun slinging rednecks (ooh, look, I can name call too!!) sitting around pretending that there is nothing more to life than firing at illegal immigrants and calling black people names. Seriously. Take a peek into the real world and maybe spend that money you were using for guns on something more...i dunno...Christian?

No. I'm not bitter at all.

The moral of the story is that Nathan woke up in time to go to lunch before I stalked over and gave those (very large, scary, capable-of-pain-causing)...people...a piece of my mind. In the end, I stomped downstairs, half wondering if I was missing their next discussion topic. Maybe griping about outsourcing, or plotting a lynching***? Evidently I am less openminded than I previously thought.

*Dr. Birzer, if by some odd chance you see this, please do not see this as encouragement for increasing the intensity of future tests, but rather as a grateful note from a student who was very glad not to fail you in such an important matter.
**this is supposed to illustrate the southern drawl. You think I am lying and making up an accent for effect? I wish.
***No, Samantha does not know when to just keep her mouth shut and not say exactly what she is thinking. Deal with it.

Metaphors We Live By

Argument is war. Strategies are employed to win arguments. Your opponent defends his position by attacking yours.

Hope is light. A glimmer at the end of a tunnel. A ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds.

Time is money. It can be wasted, carelessly invested or saved.

I like metaphors because they say much more than almost any other combination of words. In fact, those statements right there prove the point, but I’ll get to that later.

“It’s just a figure of speech,” you might say – and that’s where you’d be wrong. Metaphors are much more than figures of speech. They are powerful indicators of the way we think and act towards others. In their book, Metaphors We Live By, George Lakoff and Mark Johnson write that “Metaphor[s are] pervasive in everyday life, not just in language but in thought and action. They govern our everyday functioning, down to the most mundane details. Our concepts structure what we perceive, how we get around in the world, and how we relate to other people. Our conceptual system thus plays a central role in defining our everyday realities.”

Enter the grammar Nazi: A metaphor is not a simile. A simile is when I compare one thing to another: “Jack eats like a pig” or “Jill looks like a model.” To say that something is like something else, is to simultaneously admit that it is not in fact that thing.

A metaphor is similar to a simile, grammar Nazi leaves in favor of the redundancy police, in that it links two unrelated topics. But what if I said “Jack is a pig.” I have made a statement about Jack’s character, not just his eating habits. If, to me, Jack isn’t just like a pig; he is a pig, how do you think I will treat Jack? You’re right; like a pig. Better yet, let’s look at the second example I gave: “Jill looks like a model” has a meaning completely different from “Jill is a model.”

So what? How does this affect me? Why does it matter? That is what I call a question that answers itself. The key is in the question “why?” Why do you automatically link the concepts of argument and war, hope and light or time and money together? The answer is so obvious, it is often ignored. You link time and money together because you believe that time can and ought to be treated like money, just like Jill can and ought to be treated like a model.

Let’s take an easier example, something you probably experience in your day to day life. Say there is an old crooked tree at the intersection where you turn to go from your house to the grocery story. Naturally, you refer to that corner as the “crooked tree” corner. If you told your oldest son, “turn right at the crooked tree corner,” he would know exactly what you’re talking about. Assume this goes on for 5-10 years. Sadly, the old crooked tree is struck by lighting and is cut down. Even when the tree is gone, you will naturally refer to the corner as “crooked tree” corner, whether the tree itself exists or not.

Metaphors are no different. They are the natural product of habit—you come to understand time to be like money so in your mind time becomes money, not like money, but it completely takes on the role of money in your mind.

It doesn’t seem like a problem until you turn on the radio or the TV or listen to yourself talk. Then you start to get scared. Really, really fast.

Exhibit A: War metaphor
Last December, CBN, the Christian Broadcasting Network, published a story entitled Christmas Under Siege “From Georgia to Oklahoma, the biblical foundation of Christmas is under attack.” This opening statement begs the question, “under attack by whom?” the answer is obvious: the devil, or better yet, the ACLU. The article goes on to quote David Cortman, Senior Legal Counsel of the Alliance Defense Fund, “The attacks on Christmas are simply part of a larger war being waged on anything and everything Christian. The American people, common sense and the Constitution are clearly winning the battles against Christmas waged by the Left.”

Whether or not you agree with keeping Christ in Christmas, and I do, it is important to understand that this was a legitimate legal debate about the use of public property. If Nietzsche somehow came back from the dead and spent your tax dollars on placing elaborate “GOD IS DEAD” signs all over your public library, you’d be upset too.
Here is the mistake we often make when discussing the battle in churches:
We make the same error that CBS and other fanatical “warriors” often make: we mistake unbelievers for our enemies. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that we “wrestled not with spiritual forces, but with Democrats, Muslims and Frenchmen.” When we speak of the “fight” for Christian morals in our nation, the “war” for family values and the “battle” for Christ, we are fighting, in some sense, successfully, the wrong enemy.
Dan Nejfelt of Faith In Public Life, a religious blog, writes that “The purpose of war metaphors is to cultivate a sense of fear, outrage and victimhood, and if fear, outrage and victimhood have to be cultivated with absurdly exaggerative rhetoric, those sensibilities are unwarranted. Before we pride ourselves on the fact that we have discovered a new kind of scriptural misinterpretation, we should take a quick look back into history.
The persecution of “heretics” began centuries before the birth of Christ in 385 BC. It wasn’t until 1184 AD, though, that the church began its first official inquisition, most commonly called the Medieval Inquisition. More famous is the Spanish Inquisition, which lasted from 1478 to 1838, nearly 400 years. During this period, Jewish and Muslim converts were executed if they were suspected of adhering to their former beliefs estimates of those killed in the name of religion range from 8.4 million to a startling 112.5 million.

But during the holocaust, war in the name of religion struck a little closer to home. It’s is a sickening reminder that one of Hitler’s primary goals was the elimination of homosexuals in Germany. When we speak carelessly, even in jest, of “shipping all of the gays to France and bombing them” we should immediately realize that we are aligning ourselves with one of the wickedest men that walked the earth.

We are in a battle, a war against spiritual forces, but our war metaphor, specifically that which appears in the church, must be directed at sin and not sinners. We must recall that like homosexuals and yes, even liberals, we frequently make mistakes. If we hate sin, we must learn to hate it in ourselves and in the church before we hate it in others. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:12, “I’m not responsible for what the outsiders do, but don’t we have some responsibility for those within our community of believers? God decides on the outsiders, but we need to decide when our brothers and sisters are out of line and, if necessary, clean house.” It is imposters within the church, and not sinners outside of it, that we are called to judge.

Exhibition B: Economic Metaphor

I invest in my friendships, I value my family. Your relationships enrich your character, and those who have no friends lead impoverished lives. Did you catch it? We commonly think of our relationships, our love, in economic terms. Donald Miller, in this collection of essays, Blue Like Jazz writes that, “The problem with Christian culture is we think of love as a commodity. We use it like money. If somebody is doing something for us, offering us something, be it gifts, time, popularity, or what have you, we feel they have value, we feel they are worth something to us, and, perhaps, we feel they are priceless. This was the thing that had smelled so rotten all these years. I used love like money. The church used love like money. With love, we withheld affirmation from the people who did not agree with us, but we lavishly financed the ones who did. I used love like money, but love doesn’t work like money. It is not a commodity. When we barter with it, we all lose.”

The other day I was at this graduation for my older brother, and the speaker was a politician with a very strong Cajun accent said something that made me smile, because a friend of mine said it to me months ago and it made me think. “Relationships are like ATM’s,” he said, “you have to make deposits in order to make a withdrawal.”

Put that in your pipe and chew it.

Things get a bit more complicated here:

A study completed by the Schwartz Center shows that metaphors are fundamental to individual and collective expression, [they] are also capable of creating or perpetuating stereotypes, and stigma. If we think of people purely as an economic boon, when they no longer benefit us, we will have no reason to love them unconditionally. How then shall we live? Instead of thinking of love as money, Miller suggests that we use “magnet” metaphor or “free gift” metaphor. What if you could make deposits with no hope of a withdrawal? What if you did make deposits with no hope of withdrawal.

Words are powerful weapons.

"The Trading of an Evil for a Lesser One"

First post–instead of awkward introductions, here is an article I wrote a month or so ago, following the elections. If it looks familiar, it’s because you probably read it in the Collegian.

I don’t remember who was president when I was 5.

I do remember moving from my hometown of Orlando to a strange town. I remember celebrating my birthday with a bunch of kids from school I barely knew, who were more interested in my pool than my party.

I do remember who was president when my mom first got sick, but I don’t remember if that made taking over household chores any easier, or if George Bush did anything to help my family.

With all of the excitement and media hype over the election, it is startling to reflect over your past, the experiences that the mean the most to you, and remember how few of them were affected by whichever political figurehead happened to be in office at the time.

In the end, the president of America does not change the identity of American people. Politics do not shape the content of your character; burnt Thanksgiving turkeys, raking leaves in the fall, cleaning the pool in the summer, white Christmases, candlelight services, late night conversations and moments spent with loved ones (or without them) are the things that mold your experiential understanding of the world.

President Barack Obama will not change your character. John McCain would not have changed your character. Politics will not change who you are, and ultimately, that is the most important element of the American experience.

In short: chill out.

If politics are understood as a hollow kind of reflection of America’s will, there is a more profound victory in Obama’s win; his race. But race doesn’t matter, right? If you’re the first African-American president in a nation with a long history of racism and bigotry, it does. If Obama played the race card in his favor preceding the election, his demands that racism be dealt with were certainly justified in light of the responses to his presidency. If Americans refuse to look more closely at the advantages of Obama’s policies, they can at least rejoice with the African Americans in their victory over a heritage of suppression and slavery. If nothing else, the Berlin wall of racism has been torn down. We are perhaps the luckiest generation in that we are now witnessing a groundbreaking moment in history. Racism remains a very serious problem in America today. When citizens like James Jackson of New York go to work, only to find a noose hanging as a blatant racist symbol, or workers like Charles Hickman, are nearly strangled as a sign of hatred, America is clearly sick. But Tuesday’s victory was a triumph over this history of bigotry. Maybe, just maybe, America is recovering from an illness with which she has struggled for centuries.

Politics do not change our lives, but perhaps this time around they are an accurate representation of our beliefs which make a powerful statement to world.

And hey, if Obama’s “socialism” really bothers you—move to Canada. But don’t come rushing back in 8 years, hoping things will be better. In the words of Derek Webb:

“you can render unto Caesar everything that’s his
you can trust in his power to come to your defense
it’s the way of the world, the way of the gun
it’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one
so don’t hold your breath or your vote until
you think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill.”